Chivalry
Okay, I have a question.
Is there no such thing as chivalry in men under 50?
I know exactly one man under 50 who treats women with the politeness, gentility and respect that I would expect from my future husband. Unfortunately, he is 17 years my senior, so while he will make some woman very happy someday, I'm not that woman.
Is there a reason that fathers no longer teach their sons to open doors and carry heavy loads for women? Are mothers so forgetful that they can't remember that if one is a single woman one would like to be walked to one's car at night?
I have met three categories of men. One group (by far the minority) would leap to open doors for me, would take any heavy parcel I was carrying, and would die rather than have me walk to my car alone at night. Another group simply becomes blind if I walk up to a door with my arms full or if I leave a group to go home and have a ways to walk to my car. If I ask them to get the door or walk me to my car, they usually do; however, I shouldn't have to ask. Finally, there is the third group, which is perhaps the one that makes me angriest: it is the ranks of homeschooled young men who I have met through church. Their parents are so convinced that their sons are merely bags of uncontrollable hormones that they have browbeaten their sons not to speak to any female at any time as it is a grave danger of sin, or some such nonsense. As a result, these young men are unchivalrous bores with whom no young woman in her right mind with any sort of self-worth would spend time. While their morals may be good, they are, in the word of a past generation, cads.
Is there no such thing, then, as young men who have been taught to respect, protect and be courtious to women?
Frankly, I am beginning to think that the answer is yes.
One thing I know for certain, though: if I ever marry and have children (and I pray every night that I will), I will teach my sons to open and close car doors for women, to let them go first, to carry heavy loads as a matter of course. And the living example of such behavior will be their father.
Is there no such thing as chivalry in men under 50?
I know exactly one man under 50 who treats women with the politeness, gentility and respect that I would expect from my future husband. Unfortunately, he is 17 years my senior, so while he will make some woman very happy someday, I'm not that woman.
Is there a reason that fathers no longer teach their sons to open doors and carry heavy loads for women? Are mothers so forgetful that they can't remember that if one is a single woman one would like to be walked to one's car at night?
I have met three categories of men. One group (by far the minority) would leap to open doors for me, would take any heavy parcel I was carrying, and would die rather than have me walk to my car alone at night. Another group simply becomes blind if I walk up to a door with my arms full or if I leave a group to go home and have a ways to walk to my car. If I ask them to get the door or walk me to my car, they usually do; however, I shouldn't have to ask. Finally, there is the third group, which is perhaps the one that makes me angriest: it is the ranks of homeschooled young men who I have met through church. Their parents are so convinced that their sons are merely bags of uncontrollable hormones that they have browbeaten their sons not to speak to any female at any time as it is a grave danger of sin, or some such nonsense. As a result, these young men are unchivalrous bores with whom no young woman in her right mind with any sort of self-worth would spend time. While their morals may be good, they are, in the word of a past generation, cads.
Is there no such thing, then, as young men who have been taught to respect, protect and be courtious to women?
Frankly, I am beginning to think that the answer is yes.
One thing I know for certain, though: if I ever marry and have children (and I pray every night that I will), I will teach my sons to open and close car doors for women, to let them go first, to carry heavy loads as a matter of course. And the living example of such behavior will be their father.
posted by UbiCaritas at
7:21 PM
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